Q:

I’ve been living in with a man for more than two years already. This setup brought disgrace to my family especially to my father who is a priest. But neither was nor blessed with children.

Each time I bring up the marriage issue with him, he gives all the alibis he can think of.

Many people said I wasted my life because of this man. He has a job while I still have to finish my studies. I used to receive financial help as a government scholar, but it was cut off because I kept on changing courses. I also worked with an NGO and wrote for a local paper. All these I give up so I could take care of him. Yet he won’t even give me descent marriage.

Yes, we continue to have sexual relations. But I now want to leave him. My parents don’t want to intervene. They say that as an adult I should know what to do. Please help.

A:

If you aren’t currently staying with your family you may choose to go back and live with him. Enlist the support in helping you avoid seeing your live-in partner.

If your living with them, how about trying to seek employment or continuing your studies far from your home? And yes, keep sexual intimacy out of your relationship. This is an area of a relationship that makes it very difficult for a lady to simply walk out and close the door on a relationship. Keep distance from him, the lesser to see him, chances are you’d more likely forget him in due time.

Ponder upon what lies ahead you should continue this illicit relationship. You’re just a mistress; your child (should you have one) will be illegitimate unless he marries you.

Proverbs 6:20-24 talks about your parents’ pieces of advice as beams of light directing you to a good life. Take this counsel to heart.

I believe your parents’ heart bleed for you. Don’t hesitate to approach them. They won’t turn you away.